


Whenever Feasible...

by UisceOneLove



Series: Dark Stony Bingo 2021 [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Dark, Dark Domestic Fluff, Dark Steve Rogers, Dark Tony Stark, Fluff, Happy Ending Is Extremely Relative When You Think About This, M/M, Morally Dubious Steve Rogers, Morally Dubious Tony Stark, Pet Sociopath, Serial Killers, Slice of Life, This is just fucked up okay, True Love, Twisted True Love, War Veteran Steve Rogers, minor cannibalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:14:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29851704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UisceOneLove/pseuds/UisceOneLove
Summary: Captain America, the serial killer seemingly intent on cleaning out the corrupt competition, has just claimed another victim.Pepper does not enjoy that it apparently is no bother to Tony.Tony is just enjoying his sexy boyfriend.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Dark Stony Bingo 2021 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2193099
Comments: 14
Kudos: 78
Collections: SteveTony Acheronian Bingo 2021





	Whenever Feasible...

**Author's Note:**

> So for the "Mild Cannibalism" tag, please see the end notes for full disclosure/content warning.
> 
> I should really make serial killer fics more often, geez. They're too much fun.
> 
> This is, clearly, for my Dark Stony Bingo Card 2, Square: "Serial Killer"

Tony was looking over his schematics for the latest arc reactor design when Pepper was gracious enough to drop the newspaper -- seriously, who looks at newspapers anymore? -- on his worktable. A cursory glance at the cover told him what they expected to happen after the last six months. 

**Captain America Strikes Again in the Big Apple!**

"They say it's Justin Hammer this time," Pepper says in the way of greeting.

"Lovely morning to you too, Pep," Tony greeted, closing the hologram with a union of his fingers.

Tony wasn't sympathetic towards Hammer's demise; he was a weasel whose entire life's mission was to try and undermine him at every turn with subpar products and annoying libel antics.

He also didn't need to look at the article to know what it would say. 

Captain America went after those he saw to be the lowest of the low in power; Johann Schmidt, Aldrich Killian, even Obadiah Stane himself, and now Justin Hammer. Each man had been able to get out of criminal charges for some underhanded behavior, each was then found in his respective home without a trace of how the killer had gotten in or who they were.

He respected the beauty of Captain America's work. No mess except for the way his victims were battered and broken with a star carved into their chests.

There was also the matter of their hearts being removed and never found again.

"I guess we know now that Hammer had a heart after all," Tony commented when Pepper didn't leave.

She leveled him with a stern look. "Tony." 

He set his Stark Pad on top of the newspaper, not at all feeling remorseful about it. "Pep, I'm not going to do the crocodile tears for him."

Pepper sighed warily and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm not asking for fake tears, Tony, I'm asking for you to at least pretend you have some sympathy for someone being brutally murdered."

Tony sat back and pulled out his phone. "Fine. Who do you want me to send flowers to?" 

"You know what? Don't worry about it." Peter dropped some files next to the newspaper and walked away. "I'll express it for you." 

"That's why I love you and can't lose you as a devoted employee, Pep!" he called after her. He had his own work to get to, but first, Tony had some texts to send.

**Tony**

_How's the morning workout, Apple Pie? ;)_

_Please say I get pix?_

He grinned when he got what he wished for; a series of photos giving him the most delicious view some excellently defined abdominals glistening with sweat. Tony was half-tempted to use them for some self-love time right there but he didn't need to give Pepper another reason to put him on The Naughty List for the day. 

**Steve**

_You should be working._

_But every good boy deserves a treat._

_Maybe this will motivate you to finish early._

**Tony**

_You know I'm only a good boy for you._

**Steve**

_Is that what you call it?_

Tony couldn't suppress a grin. 

**Tony**

_Should I bring anything special for dinner tonight?_

**Steve**

_Yourself, some good wine, and dessert._

**Tony**

_You mean I'm not dessert? :(_

_How hurtful, Steven. I am hurt. Do you see that?_

**Steve**

_I'll make it up to you, Tony._

Tony set down his phone with a smug smile as he went back to pulling up files on his Pad. Steve's always good at making things up to him. 

* * *

"Steve?" Tony let himself inside his boyfriend's apartment, because yes, he was now part of one of those couples where they exchanged copies of their keys.

"Perfect timing, dinner's just finished.'

He followed Steve's voice down the hall. His hunky lug of a boyfriend met him outside of the dining room with a smile, arm slipping around Tony to pull him into a kiss. 

Tony hummed, matching Steve's smile when he pulled back. "I do enjoy those kinds of welcomes."

He handed Steve a bottle of Chateau Petrus Pomerol from one hand and held up a bouquet of poppies in the other. Steve's face softened under the weight of the affection aimed at Tony, which in turn made the brunet blush and fluster. 

"Vases are under the sink, yes?" Tony asked, hurrying past Steve into the kitchen. He could hear the blond behind him fetching wine glasses and the bottle opener while chuckling. 

"We can set them on the table," Steve said, taking pity on him. "How was work?"

Tony made a noise of protest, crowding into his boyfriend's space for a second to steal another kiss. "Not talking about me right now. How was _your_ day?"

"Got a few new vets registered today. I put them in Sam's group for now." 

"Saving the day one traumatized soldier at a time," Tony said fondly.

Steve smiled mildly, "I wouldn't put it like that."

"Do you want me to put it the other way?"

"If you want to."

They made their way to the table together where their dinner was waiting and covered by a lid. Tony set the flowers down and Steve did the same with their wine. As Steve sat down, the brunet decided to take a place in his lap instead of the other chair.

A knowing smile passed Steve's lips. "Am I expected to feed you?"

Tony pulled one of the covered dishes closer and drank from his glass. "Don't you always when we have these special dinners?"

Steve dipped his head in acknowledgment, then pulled Tony down into a headier kiss, this one full of the darker promises of what's to come. 

"Did he scream?" Tony asked, letting Steve's teeth stake a claim to his mouth, his lips, his chin, all the way down his neck until the brunet was left breathless.

"Loudly, and like a pig," Steve answered, the trail he left a bright and violent red.

Tony groaned, dragging his tongue over the cut on his bottom lip. He loved it when Steve bit him hard enough to bleed. "How long?"

"Until the very end."

Steve reached over and lifted the lid to reveal his gift to Tony; Justin Hammer's heart cooked and wrapped with cranberry-red string. "I braised it this time," he said, turning Tony's face back to him for another kiss, the both of them moaning this time when he sucked at his lip to encourage the blood to keep flowing. "Stuffed it with kale, bacon, and mushrooms."

Tony rubbed his hands along Steve's arms, kissing the corner of his mouth affectionately. "You spoil me, Captain."

"I give you what you ask for," Steve returned, a hand giving his hip a firm squeeze. 

"And you do it," Tony nodded, "you love me enough to protect me at any cost."

"I love you enough to burn the world down if it ever threatened to take you away from me."

"And I love you too. I love you enough to give you a purpose."

They kissed, lazily and hungry all in one. When they broke apart, Steve cut into Hammer's heart, the knife going through it as easily as butter, and held the slice up to Tony's lips. Darkened admiral blue eyes watched it slip into Tony's mouth, enraptured at the pleasure the brunet's face was filled with as he chewed. 

"Perfect," Tony murmured once he swallowed, taking the utensils to take a turn feeding Steve. "I have the next one already picked out for you."

"You're always prepared," Steve replied, accepting the next bite when Tony held it to him. "Who is it?"

Tony brushed away a drip of sauce left in the corner of Steve's mouth, sucking it off his thumb. "His name is Helmut Zemo."

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Your content warning: The "mild cannibalism" refers to Steve cooking a victim's heart (and having done it before) for he and Tony to eat. 
> 
> My title comes from a Hannibal Lecture quote I love dearly, which is "Whenever Feasible, One Should Always Try To Eat The Rude.”
> 
> Anyways, kudos and comments are seriously always appreciated! It means a lot to know there are people out there who enjoy the content I've been able to put out this year.


End file.
